dear papa, i have been observing your life and your style so closely that now my each move reminds me of you. there is a hole in my chest that would never get filled! I am sorry papa that i have become like this. i know you would not have wanted this but trust me i have lost so much with you that i can't even think of. i think of my life in two episodes. the one before you were with me and the one after 13th April. i have never felt so pathetic papa. i can't see the silver lining in this cloud. papa, i would try to live your dreams and become everything you wanted. I feel ashamed of myself for doing things that you would have never allowed me to do. I am sorry papa your son was not there when you needed him. I feel so guilt that i can't tell. My heart is breaking day by day and inch by inch as my realization of you not being the part of my life is becoming more stronger.